Failing
while others
succeed.

Feel depressed,
sometimes want
to leave.

Don’t know
what prescription
will solve

this thinking
pattern.
Just sad I guess.

Because I
really don’t matter
To anyone or anything.

My life’s mission,
Oddball Magazine,
is just a thing.

Can’t get it
to go
platinum

if ever there
was a way
to do it.

Just sad I guess,
but tough enough
to get through it.

Sad state
of affairs
I’m in

Battling addiction
or misdirected
thinking.

Just sad I guess,
lonely. Can’t say
I have many friends

Just ups and downs,
smiles and frowns
snakes and clowns.

My dad doesn’t
even think I’m
a human being.

Feeling low
at a time
like this

Have to get
strong enough
to live like this

with time
tattooed
on my wrist.

There’s not
enough energy
in me.

Depression
I have it.
I battle it

like there’s
something to this
rhyming shit.

Only put words down
To deal with life’s
little misprints.

My fingerprint
are on
everything.

My heart
still beats,
sad as it is,

I still pray
that I’ll
get over it,

win a bit,
put something down
To remember it.

Last cigarette
smoke breathes in
a little sigh,

a little death,
same snake, bite
after bite.

Can’t autocorrect
this life.
Would I get it right?

Or is this just
another time
of my life

I can’t yet
explain
quite right.

Loneliness,
apathy and me.
We walk hand in hand.

I am just
a laughing stock
with no laugh track.

Pray to God
to get
my life back

before
I have
a heart attack.

‘Cause when I’m gone,
people will be all,
That’s that.

Oddball will
sift away into
the digital sand.

Chad will move on,
all will be gone,
world won’t lose a step.

The saddest part
is I still try
to stay up right

when really there’s
no strength in me
to put up a fight.

Just another
losing hand
in a poker game.

And just like that,
Oddball will be gone
overnight.

 

Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly. His third book, Train of Thought 2: Almost Home is available now at the Oddball Book Store.