Recovery is
sober homes
and piss tests,

trying to keep
the blood
in your wrists,

knowing
you’re not
dead yet,

rebounding from
the regret
of leaving.

Something safe
in finding self
in dark places.

The lights
aren’t bright,
the bulbs are out.

Sobriety is
being inside
looking out,

paperwork and
dealing with
doctors,

some people
feeling sorry,
some not bothering.

It’s singing for
your supper
without a voice,

realizing this
is your
last chance,

having no choice,
wanting to be more,
wanting less stress,

regaining respect,
and slowly ,
every day.

It’s depression
feeling like
a blood letting

as it settles
like an
unwanted guest

who doesn’t look
like they’re
leaving soon.

It’s trying
to fast forward
your life

when you only
want to press
pause.

It’s recovering
the streets
you slept on,

finding peace
through pain
again.

It seems
so distant,
so far removed.

Drug,
dreams
and sleep.

Follow me
for more
lessons

on life
in early
recovery.

 

Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly. His third book, Train of Thought 2: Almost Home is available now at the Oddball Book Store.