Jagged Thought #221: Just to Be Able to Write Again

 

Just to be able to write again.
To put my mind down
Like I put myself down.
Again and again.
I flow with the digital pen.
Like my mind feels victimized
By sets of hating eyes.
But it’s only me
In this treachery.
My mind is a bully
And beats the shit out of me
Daily.
Makes me feel like I don’t matter.
Makes me think venomous
When I’m only trying to eat or
Walk past you on the street.
I don’t know why, don’t ask me.
I am your villain.
You think I’m not worth living.

I try to prove you wrong.
I try to jump out of my bed
Slug my morning coffee
And put a half moon smile on my face.
I try to.
I know this isn’t permanent.

I know it will change.
I know it will subside.
I know. At least I can write.

At least I can write.

 

Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly.

 

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