The E.A.R.: The Epic Autistic 2019 Post Season Report


 

If you told me back in mid December that we would clean house in the playoffs and win our sixth Super Bowl, I probably would’ve laughed in your face because we were absolutely abysmal for part of that month.

When journalists make a wrong call, they delete their old entries to make it as if they never made said call in the first place. I don’t do that sort of thing. I’ll admit my bad calls. In December, I pushed the panic button a little too soon. I shall air my dirty laundry here and eat my words.

The biased optimist New England Patriots fan in me will always have faith in this team, and will have their back through thick, and thin.

The unbiased analyst in me unfortunately has to be brutally honest. This ain’t our year.

No one wants to hear it, but this ain’t the team that normally cleans house in December…I don’t know what happens from here. A part of me is hopeful for some magic turn around, but I’m also slowly, yet painfully making peace with the fact that maybe this just isn’t our year”

I was wrong, and I’ve never been so happy to eat every single one of these words because mama taught me not to waste shit. To be fair, we were uncharacteristically bad during those week 14 and 15 games. Our defense allowed way too many points in Miami, and they failed to close out that game by allowing a freak disaster that will go down in Miami Dolphins lore known as the MIami Miracle. In week 15, we could barely move the ball against a Steelers team we often dominate. To add insult to injury, Josh Gordon violated the substance abuse policy yet again, causing him to get suspended indefinitely

The real turning point for this team was a pair of week 16 and 17 games people would constantly bat an eye at. During the Bills game, we won that game entirely on the ground. It was the game we effectively figured out how create run gaps for our backs. Some weren’t impressed and said “it’s just the Bills.” In week 17, we smashed the Jets with a good air attack I had seen for a while coupled with all the really awesome blocking schemes from week 16 that opened up the run. I finally had hope that we could still make an impact, and still people said “it’s just the Jets.”

These final two games were critical to our post season success because it created a much needed cohesiveness that had been non-existent throughout the year. We lost early on to teams we had no business losing against. We made Blake Bortles look like an elite QB, and that Lions defense ran a train on us, making Matt Patricia look like that pupil that bested the master. We would get smashed by a Titans team ran by yet another ex-Patriots member with two ex Patriots players out to get their revenge. After a rough and inconsistent season, it was great to watch those final two games. The playoffs came along, and it seemed as if we finally got our mojo back, or rather, we had it all a long, kind of like that scene towards the end of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me.

The AFC Championship will be the stuff of legends. We were an underdog going into that game. Everyone called it the symbolic passing of the torch, the game where the young rising star would be the old washed up veteran and go out to start a new dynasty. The Patriots made it very clear that the dynasty is far from dead. It was vintage Brady all around with a defense that slowed a VERY high powered offense. The real Superbowl MVPs should be the defense who held the rams to three points long enough for the offense to get a rhythm going. With another roller coaster of a season in the books, it’s time to look at the next steps going forward.

1. We will need to get a solid QB in the draft to start setting up a succession plan. Brady still hopes to play until 45, he’ll be 42 next season, and a rookie contract is about 3-4 years, so you do the math. Brady is also not going to be wolverine for ever. He will eventually sustain an injury that he can’t bounce back from with that magical juice of his. We need someone to carry the team God forbid that scenario should come to fruition, and Hoyer is not that guy.

2. Speaking of Brady’s health, we’ll need to really beef up the O-Line. Hopefully Isaiah Wynn will make a return, and be a difference maker.

3. Chris Hogan’s gotta go. I believe he’s up for free agency this season. When you drop five passes on the biggest stage, you don’t deserve to get paid. Save yourself the cap space for people who deserve that money.

4. Eric Rowe also needs to go. He’s a trash CB, and him going on injured reserve was the best thing to happen to our team.

5. While building offensive versatility is great, we need to draft younger and faster defensive players. I’m happy with what our defense did in the post season, but we need that performance all year.

6. If Gronk does retire–a prospect I’ve made peace with–we will need to look for some tight ends that can do what Gronk did well. To be fair, very few tight ends will be what Gronk was for us. Gronk will go down as one of the best tight ends to play the game.

This season has been pretty wild. Hopefully the next season will be one for the ages.

Epic Autistic out!

 

Flemmings Beaubrun is an avid gamer and lover of music. When not working, Flemmings likes to spend his time whipping up dank beats for the masses. He also spends his weekends thrift shopping for rare video games and obscure electronics. Other times he’s in front of a TV with a giant bowl of cereal enjoying shows from the 90s.

 

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