The E.A.R.: My Mind is Telling Me No (But My Body’s Telling Me Yes)


An Autistic guy’s introspective on why people are defending R. Kelly


I’ll repeat that disclaimer once more in case y’all skimmed so that y’all don’t get me all fucked up!


Now that I’ve protected myself from any of y’all misinterpreting the meaning of this post, it is time to get to business.

I’ve been watching my Facebook newsfeed melt the fuck down with arguments over R. Kelly. There are those who vehemently shun the guy and feel anyone who says otherwise is a terrible person. Then there are the outliers, those who defend R. Kelly to the death, even going as far as slandering his victims.

The purpose of this post is to help you understand what the outliers are struggling with, because it’s a lot more complicated than “they think another black man is under attack.” There are very powerful forces at work that requires an understanding of what music sets out to do.

Now in order to understand this power, I had to study it. I committed the egregious act of listening to R. Kelly in 2019. Now before you get on your high horse about me fueling his Spotify numbers, or putting money in his wallet, there are ways to obtain what you want on the internet without ever boosting an artist’s streams or sales if you know where to look.

You’re probably wondering why the hell would I want to listen to R. Kelly’s body of work given what I’ve heard in the past few days. I’ve only listened to what has appeared on the radio. I’m a music guy, and in order to truly understand an artist, you really need to dive in to ALL of their works. What I’ve learned from five albums is pretty compelling.

To those who are getting angry with those defending R. Kelly, and those who are losing sleep over it, I feel y’all, but y’all severely underestimate the power of music on both an emotional and psychological level. Music has this way of not only evoking certain emotions, but it can also bring you back to the time when those emotions were the strongest.

The people you’re arguing with have a very strong attachment to R. Kelly’s music. People grew up with this music, they danced to this music, they vibed to this music, they made passionate love to this music. The last one is critical to understanding this, because sex in itself is a very powerful feeling, and overwhelmingly emotional experience.

An older couple popping out kids in the early 90s could listen to this music, and it will INSTANTLY bring them back. People will remember proms, weddings, parties, BBQs, and a myriad of good times. One of the biggest reasons R. Kelly’s music is such a staple of these moments is because IT IS DO DAMN CATCHY!!!!!!!!!!!! Let’s be real, R. Kelly’s music is VERY SEXUAL, and there is NOTHING subtle about it. A lot of late 90s babies wouldn’t have been born without this music.

Mixed in there, however, are other rhythmic anthems that get you dancing.

I knew what the hell I was listening to when I plugged in the aux cord. I knew I was listening to the music of a man who has done some serious damage to the lives of many.

And yet, I couldn’t help but dance in my car.

I’d catch myself involuntarily singing along to lyrics I had no business singing the words to. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help it. To quote the man himself, “My mind is telling me no, But my body, my body’s telling me yes”.

This is some pretty powerful stuff. There are people who can easily delete all his music and burn his CDs, but for others it can be brutal. One of the toughest feelings you will ever have to deal with as an adult is that something you thought was good is completely tainted.

It’s hard to find something toxic when there are good memories tied to it. That’s why people have trouble of letting go of abusive relationships. There are nothing but wonderful memories tied to R. Kelly’s music for many, and it makes it VERY difficult for people to see any bad in it.

I guess the point I’m trying to make is that y’all need to have compassion for those you’re arguing with. I probably lost you with the “have compassion” part, but allow me to elaborate. Those of you getting angry with people who want to defend R. Kelly severely underestimate what they’re truly up against. You’re not just at war with someone’s ideals. You’re at war with some pretty powerful emotions, emotions that are capable of overwhelming logic.

You’re at war with memories of weddings, memories of parties, memories of the many passionate lovemaking sessions, memories of loved ones, and anything that R. Kelly’s music was the center of. Again, I ain’t here to justify it. I just want y’all to understand what you’re up against.

As with any case that can be made against R. Kelly, unfortunately, there exists the burden of proof. While this Lifetime docuseries was compelling enough to convince the public, it unfortunately has to be proven in a court of law. He already got off once when it came to the infamous urination video. I ain’t saying he isn’t capable of what he’s being accused of. It’s just that we have a very flawed legal system that has to be convinced in order for R. Kelly to get what he deserves. Fear not, there is a God out there. Y’all might not believe in him, but I do. R. Kelly will have to face him some time.

One final thing: Sex addiction is a VERY REAL THING! It’s a problem we sweep under the rug in our overly sexed society, but it is a very real problem. Judging by what I’ve listened to, R. Kelly clearly has a sex addiction. I honestly don’t know how many songs you can write about sex, but this guy seems to push the envelope. This dude needs more than jail. He needs help. He needs rehabilitation. THIS NIGGA NEEDS JESUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

Stay classy…


Flemmings Beaubrun is an avid gamer and lover of music. When not working, Flemmings likes to spend his time whipping up dank beats for the masses. He also spends his weekends thrift shopping for rare video games and obscure electronics. Other times he’s in front of a TV with a giant bowl of cereal enjoying shows from the 90s.


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