The E.A.R.: Driven to Madness


 

Driving in Boston takes many years off of my life. Everyone here sucks at driving. Apparently, the only other city that comes close to us is Baltimore. Here are some more ramblings on Massachusetts driving. Some of these are new, some are more in depth ramblings on things I’ve ranted about in the past.

1. This morning, I was merging into a lane. I had my signal on and everything, so I KNOW the asshole behind me saw I was merging. Tell me why this prick speeds up, blares the horn and wants to act like I’M the bad guy? Drivers like this aren’t shit!

2. We need to talk about gore points. For those who don’t know what a gore point is, it’s the pointed triangle wedge that separates the exit ramp from the rest of the highway. Within two miles of approaching an exit, the road will let you know what not only what side the exit is on, it’ll also let you know if a lane is exit only. People will either miss an exit, or they get stuck on the exit. Rather than taking their L, these idiots will cross that gore point when I’m taking a ramp. Or worse, I’ll be on the highway full speed and they’ll have the nerve to cut in front of me. The hell you want me to do? Slow down and risk getting rear ended by someone who might not be able to react fast enough?

3. If I’m waiting to make a safe left turn, your ass better not be beeping. I will deliberately drive slow in front of you if you blare your horn at me for trying to be safe. If I’m waiting for someone to turn and you blare your horn at me, I will also deliberately drive slow.

4. The far left lane on a highway is generally for passing, but some use it for travel. I have no beef with people using it for travel, but you need to be able to drive at least 10-15 miles over the speed limit. People still need to use that lane to pass, and we need to drive faster than the speed limit to pass people. All it takes is one driver who doesn’t feel comfortable speeding to grind everything to a halt. If you don’t feel comfortable speeding, there are like two to three other lanes for that tortoise shit.

5. When the wipers are on, your lights should be too. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve tried to merge when the visibility is low only to nearly be swiped by someone I didn’t even see because they didn’t turn on their damn lights! But once again they wanna act like I’M the bad guy.

6. The amount of people who don’t know how to use roundabouts in the state of Massachusetts is utterly astounding. We have the most roundabouts of any state in this country, and yet we suck at roundabout etiquette. People either don’t know how to yield, or they can’t maintain their lane.

7. Apparently people around here also don’t know how a four way stop works. The first person to make a complete stop is the first one to go. I’ll have people who clearly stopped after I did attempt to cruise through the stop sign.

8. Every time we get the slightest bit of precipitation, people all of a sudden forget how to drive. People in New York drive in wet weather the same way they’d drive in dry weather.

The more I drive in states that are not named Massachusetts, or cites not named Boston and Worcester, the more I hate native Massachusetts drivers. It’s like we as a state collectively suck at driving. Maybe our drivers ed just sucks, or maybe our license requirements are too lenient. Who knows…..

Stay classy y’all…

 

Flemmings Beaubrun is an avid gamer and lover of music. When not working, Flemmings likes to spend his time whipping up dank beats for the masses. He also spends his weekends thrift shopping for rare video games and obscure electronics. Other times he’s in front of a TV with a giant bowl of cereal enjoying shows from the 90s.

 

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