Jagged Thought #239: Something in Me Wants to Run (through the thieves and fire)


 

Something in me wants to run
Towards the goal line
Pick up the pieces and put them together
Sign a paper and make it presidential
Make my spirit fly higher then sequential
And do it with this mental, a notebook and pencil.

I know I can move past the past and towards the sunlight.
My mind has been broken and I have not always been right.
Depressed and low I once was
Now I’m whole and stronger because
I went through those moments
Where I thought I didn’t exist.

I did it wit persistence and perseverance
Without slit wrists.
Once tried to bleed ink, as a poet often does
But never a drop of blood.
Probably cause of this rhyming stuff.

Because I have writ legit suicide notes that turned into poems.
Because I have a family, and I am not alone.
Because I know what suicide does to a family, it shatters it.
And that’s all I wills say about that
Cause my scars still are pretty open
And I don’t think they will ever close
Maybe.

Anyway, I have been through from black lights to neon lights to the curb
And I have persevered through written word
And that’s it I guess
No more no less
This rhyming, multiplying line after line
Like mathematics.

It’s mental fitness.
It gives me wisdom.
But I learned by doing, I learned by action.
I write poem after poem, and keep doing it.
It’s my passion.
Seasoned at this, it just didn’t happen.

Writing in the classroom, writing poems on napkins.
Writing when the anxiety hit.
Wrote poems about closed coffins.
Wrote with caffeinated blood.
Hoping the thoughts would just stop
After the next coffee cup.

Yes, I wrote my first poem during a snow storm
And took a line from a Nirvana song.
That’s how long I have been doing this from.
The line was something like
Though it’s dark outside inside there is a light.
And it once faded out, almost to black
But still shines.
And I’m ok with that
I have had my battles with depression.
Anxiety beat me down.
Mania made me a clown around town.
But I’m still standing.
And that I can say is true.
I walked Through the thieves and fire
And so can you.
True.

 

Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly.

 

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