The Underground Garden: I Am The Ignition Point


 

I want to burn so definitively there won’t even be ashes
I want to disintegrate without traces of any action
Spontaneous combustion because I’ve had it
Sentient sensitive overprotective
Great Wall of China I’m about to break it
With one tap
Epiphanic panic
It’s been ME!
The weakest link
It’s been ME!
Been fighting for so long I forgot I’ve already claimed the victory
Being strong became the New Me.
Where did I go wrong.
Gave too much when I was getting none.
Gave too little when I was offered much.
Couldn’t find the middle because I was lost
In
Protecting at all costs.
Still can’t claim a loss
Just a
“That price is too high to pay so back off”
Just a
“I didn’t know the value”
Just a
“Shit.”
Both ways.
I sheltered my fears and skeletons
Gave them all blankets
Made them my comprades
No one was coming to get us without a fight
I wore them as excuses
Used their fists to bring on bruises
When there wasn’t an opponent in my view
I Must Diligently Stay Strong
Releasing them would’ve been wrong
I would have had to sit with them one by one
Just to say so long
So I did.

My childhood lullabies became warrior songs
Gone on for too long
Now I wait for a real threat before I put it on
Threats are only in the minds of prey
I’ve walked with that mentality for too long
Self-protected too hard when all others wanted to do was play
The good way
I couldn’t tell the difference

I’ve been strong for too long.

I’m not excusing my flesh skinners
The ones who tore at my being to be the big winners
The ones who walk with skeletons at home
I’m only pardoning myself for allowing myself to become
Another One
Against Myself.

Tonight I jump into the fire, douse my life with tears, scream a breath of death and bury myself only to rise again

Bringing a forest worth of timber
To the gravesite of my member
Build a new ship for reincarnated piracy
Name her Phoenix and hit the 7 seas

Sightseeing not pillaging
Knowing I can only do better
I am my own prophecy.
A return to soft senses
No square circle or defenses
I abdicate Fear
I’m opening up here

Now that I know where I’ve been closed
Where the dam was built
I’m knocking down the hoe
My ebb and flow to be met
Without sorrow
Today
Not tomorrow

And it took yesterday’s cold heart to warm up the burrow
Dancing through the flames to extinguish that which would diminish

The solar flares of my Joy.

Liza Zayas is a lover of writing and dancing and celebrates both as a singer and songwriter performing as Luna del Flor. You can hear her collaborative sounds and experience life through her storytelling. She invites you to dance. Her poetry seeks to initiate dialogue by intentionally expressing consequences of love, lust, ego and self-respect.

 

One thought on “The Underground Garden: I Am The Ignition Point

  1. chadjos

    Let me see if I understand, my want and demand is more Bluu Kollar originally…. I can wrap and write poetry in a night, but my friend was taking with strife and not a knife…I want to hear and see him again, digitally, so let me begin again…

    Like

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