Jagged Thought #177: Reminiscing


 

I remember me
Manic freshmen
Sleepless
Drunken
Stoned
Not yet broken
Not yet understanding
Mania.
Not yet understanding
Stigma.
Not yet understanding loss.
Never yet having the courage
To stand into the
Oncoming traffic
Or leap from lethargic rock to rock.
Never had the false idol mentality
The walking water withdrawal
The faceless sleeping drone
The mental break.
The synapse snap.
The stop sign, the welcome back.
Never the restrained goodbye.
Never the chance to explain
Mania.
Never quite understanding it
Myself, 22, cold shoulder broken
Hushed to silence
A ghost in the once lively halls.
A ghost.
A question mark. A wonder what happened to him kind of wonderment.
And me, swiftly struck with life’s stigmata.
Left with shackled pause.
Left with broken thoughts.
Left you
Guessing.
It was nice reminiscing today.
18 years removed from that manic wonder.
That stop light school
That broke me.
Me, supposedly the model
Of recovery
Me supposedly stronger now.
It was nice reminiscing,
How missteps brought me to my knees.
Yet how I healed my wounds.
How deep the stream goes.
How many steps I have walked in my shoes.
How many still left to step?
How many times I have bandaged my feet.
How many more times will I have to?
How many more poems to stitch me back together?

 

Jason Wright is the editor and founder of Oddball Magazine. His column appears weekly.

 

Tell us what you think!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s