No we’re not talking about the places you get to be in with people who share the same ideas or struggles as you. We’re not talking about the places people like Tomi Lahren are out on a conquest to dismantle because she’s afraid of snowflakes even though she herself is a privileged little snow flake who is afraid of hearing the truth about how full of shit she is. We’re here to talk about a safe place that only those who come from snowy regions can truly appreciate.
Those who aren’t from up here or any snowy climate have driven around and will notice an empty spot with a piece of furniture occupying it. These things aren’t fodder for the garbage-can-monster. They’re space savers. Allow me to explain to you non New Englanders how they work.
During snowstorms the plow comes through to clear the roads. As a result, snow gets dumped in the spot in front of your house where you usually park your car. Once the storm has eased, someone goes out and does the equivalent of breaking their back in multiple places just to ensure there is always a place for their car.
If you see a chair, garbage can, box, or any other object larger than your head in a shoveled out spot, 100% of the time that means that someone definitely broke their back to ensure they don’t have to park in the street. Don’t touch it, don’t look at it, don’t even think about it, just move on and I’m sure you’ll find a parking spot elsewhere.
If you’re bold enough to park in someone’s shoveled out spot in these parts during this time of year, Lord have mercy on your tires or your car, I shit you not.
Every year there’s a new story of someone stupid enough to park in a spot that has a space saver in it.
People have had tires slashed, tires stolen, cars vandalized. As illegal as this sort of thing is, I don’t blame people for doing it. These people spent hours in the biting cold shoveling that spot out so that they don’t get towed or, have their car damaged by the plow.
It’s like building a shelter for yourself; you go to rest in it only to find some random person sleeping in it. You busted your ass just so you had a place to retreat to and you can’t because someone took it.
The next time you see a lot of space and it’s consumed by a random object, ask yourself these questions.
1. How much work did such and such person do to ensure they have that spot to park in?
2. How would you feel if someone did this exact thing to you?
3. How much do you value your car?
4. Do you love your car?
5. Is parking in this spot worth losing your tires over?
6. Is parking in this spot worth the amount of repairs you will have to do as a result of your car getting vandalized?
Stay classy y’all…
Flemmings Beaubrun is an avid gamer and lover of music. When not working, Flemmings likes to spend his time whipping up dank beats for the masses. He also spends his weekends thrift shopping for rare video games and obscure electronics. Other times he’s in front of a TV with a giant bowl of cereal enjoying shows from the 90s.