Stone Soup Servings Presents: Ashley Wonder


 

Stone Soup Servings is a regular series for Oddball Magazine that features upcoming performers at Stone Soup Poetry, the long-running spoken word venue in the Boston area that has partnered with Oddball Magazine. Stone Soup Poetry now meets from 7-9 p.m. every Monday at the Out of The Blue Art Gallery’s new location at 541 Massachusetts Avenue in Central Square Cambridge, Massachusetts. The open mike sign-up at 6:30 p.m.

This Monday we will be featuring Ashley Wonder, who has just released her first chapbook, Miraculous. If you would like to know more about her, her poem below provides a deeper glimpse and will hopefully urge you to join our audience this holiday Monday.

 

Miraculous

For much of my existence death I believed was my answer to life. Didn’t think I was ever worthy of a man’s love when heart and feelings were always taken advantage of.

Was raised with self-love but self-hate shattered the positivity I knew. So slicing my unspoken frustrations became bled out responses to rejection, never had those typical boyfriends of regret. Observed everyone else in the ups and downs of relationships, dissatisfaction of not doing enough, to be considered ‘making it’.
    So to end my life seemed plausible, something nobody ever conceived when your born a miracle.

Miraculous Wonder since the day of my birth. “Miracle baby” is what they called me, I counted it as value, I seen it as worth. 1lb 3 and a half ounces, less than 10% chance of survival October 8,1983. No. there was no high technology but the grace of God kept me! Kept me living119 days in that incubator, left with my nose a little disfigured b/c of a tube but whatever the doctor’s gave me I made it through!

I made it through my first surgical procedure at 5, growing up kids were nothing but cruel, low self esteem came early was confused. Biracial identity made it difficult for me to relate too. Spent too many days crying, spent too many yrs cutting, spent too many times wondering what it would be like if I swallowed that bottle of pills. So I did. But somehow by the grace of God I made it through! I made it through 3 more surgical procedures on my nose with the scars to prove I am a walking Miracle!

    To show others how suicidal thinking and depression does Not have to claim your life..

I found my life when I found my identity in Christ! The blood that was shed for the disobedience of my sin, body broken and whipped, a loving sacrifice, for me to see this old way of living and thinking is dead never to rise up again
because I’ve surrendered everything to Him!

This beautiful relationship took away all of my old insecurities I used to look for in those men, in anyone, or anything, if they would just listen to me! No more! I know who I am now! I am a Miraculous woman! A survivior! So now ya’ll know why they call me. “Ashley Wonder!”