A Twist of JP Lime: Tis the Season for Christmas Raps


 

DJ Santa ClauseWith the Holiday Season officially upon us, it’s time to get festive. And is there a better way to kick off the festivities than with some good ol’ fashioned Christmas music? YES! Of course there is! At JP Lime Productions, we love our good ol’ fashioned Christmas caroling, but let’s face it, we do (mostly) everything with a crunchy Hip Hop center ’round these parts. As such, we’ll rephrase our question accordingly.

Is there a better way to kick off the Holiday Season festivities than with some funky fresh CHRISTMAS RAPS!?!?!? Nope! With that in mind, we’ve compiled a by no means exhaustive list of Christmas Hip Hop tracks for you to consider when creating your Holiday Party playlists. Each area of the country has contributed Christmas Raps over the years, thus the regional grouping for the majority of our selections. That said, given our particular love for Old School Hip Hop (see our vast Rap Flashback archives), we’re going to kick things off with a Christmas quartet from the 80s.

Old School 80s

Our 80s selection features fun, couplet heavy lyrics that in true 80s Rap fashion are easy to rap along to. They’re also very much in the spirit of Christmas, with references to food & drink, gift-giving (and wanting), family & friends, and general Holiday cheer acting as common themes throughout the tracks.

Run DMC — “Christmas in Hollis”

Ho Ho Ho lyric (DMC):

It’s Christmas time in Hollis, Queens
Mom’s cooking chicken and collard greens
Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese
And Santa putting gifts under Christmas trees

Kurtis Blow — “Christmas Rappin'”

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

We were all in the mood so we had a little food
And a joke, and a smoke, and a little bit of wine
When I thought I heard a hoof on the top of the roof
Could it be or was it me? I was feeling super fine
So I went to your attic where I thought heard the static
On the chance that the prance was somebody breaking in
But the noise on the top was a reindeer clop

Treacherous Three & Doug E. Fresh — “Xmas Rap”

Ho Ho Ho lyric (Kool Moe Dee):

Ho Ho Ho
Open up ya do
I’m Santa Claus and guess what y’all
I got something to show
I came to bring some Christmas Spirit
I got a big bag now guess what’s in it
Something for the rich and something for the po’
So Merry Christmas and ho ho ho

Juice Crew All-Starrs — “Cold Chillin’ Christmas”

Ho Ho Ho lyric (Roxanne Shante):

Now I’ve been a good girl all year round
And this is what I want from the people are down
Now I am mainly speaking’ ’bout my family and friends
I want a BMW, a Jaguar, or a Benz
It really doesn’t matter the expense of the gift
Cause being’ around I’m such a spiritual uplift
To think about all year when we’re illin’
To get together and just be Cold Chillin’

West Coast

Snoop Doggy Dogg ft. Bad An, Daz Dillinger, & Nate Dogg — “Santa Goes Straight To The Ghetto”

Snoop Dogg employs that laid-back, lazy flow we’ve loved since the mid-90s to deliver a very California Christmas jingle.

Ho Ho Ho lyric (Snoop Dogg):

And all I want for Christmas is my 6-4 Chevrolet
And a granddaughter for her grandmother Beverly
Ain’t that something? Nah, ain’t that nothing
How it’s Christmas time and my rhyme’s steady bumpin’
Everybody happy, hair still nappy
Gonna steal a gift for my old grandpappy
Catch me giving out turkeys at the church-house
Don’t try to work me, just stand in the line and everything gon’ be fine
Holla at ya folks, boy, it’s goin’ down
Ain’t no help from no elves, just Tha Dogg Pound

Eazy E — “Merry Muthaphu**in Christmas”

Many of Eazy’s most memorable tracks (see “Gimme That Nut” & “I’d Rather Fu*k You) featured, err, colorful encounters with the ladies, mildly put… As such, it should be no surprise that his Christmas jingle follows suit; a Holiday pimp suit as a matter of fact. Note Eazy’s choice lyrics are melody-rapped to the tune of Jingle Bells.

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

Merry muthafu**in’ Chrismas and a ho ho ho!
While I’m ridin’ that cot under the missle toe
Now dashin’ through the snow
In a candy right top 6-4
Over the hills I go
Laughin’ at this hoe
Nuts on rich and rings
Makin’ me feel right
Oh what fun it is to know
That I’m gonna get this pu$$y tonight

New York

DMX — “Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer”

Rapped to the melody of the original, DMX softens his growl-driven voice and add some choice, trademark adlibs to breathe new life into a Christmas classic.

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say (c’mon!)
Rudolph with your nose so bright
Won’t you ride my sleigh tonight?
Then all the reindeer loved him
As they shouted out with glee
Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer
You’ll go down in history forever
You’ll go down in history forever
You’ll go down in history (WHAT!!!)

Jim Jones ft. J.R. Writer & Stack Bundles — “Ballin’ on Xmas”

Jim Jones flips the beat to Run DMC’s “Christmas in Hollis” and provide urban, street-oriented imagery in this Christmas tale. What’s Christmas like in the mean streets of NY? Jones has the answers.

Ho Ho Ho lyric (Jim Jones):

In all my years standing on one hundred twelfth
Never seen Santa, no elves
Seen a couple mans go to jail
Trying to get Christmas money off gram sales
And that ain’t work out (it’s a shame)
They say Santa know you good or you bad
Gotta make an exception — we in the hood, living fast
The cash that we get, I admit it’s kind of fast
But we gotta pay the rent, put some clothes on our ass

Ghostface Killah — “Ghostace Killah Xmas”

In my research for this post, I was glad to come across this track. Not only is it a Christmas track, it kinda bumps. It’s got an upbeat, Swizz Beatz sounding type beat (wasn’t able to confirm the actual producer on the track), and in typical Ghostface fashion, he murders it. Supreme lyricism and story-telling are in play as Ghostface adds a little Wu-Tang flavor to the Holidays.

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

Smell the pine trees in the air, sleigh bells are ringing
Toy stores are out of control, and kids singing
That night before Christmas, dashing through the snow
Rudolph the Reindeer, red nose that glow
It’s all about the candy canes and Christmas list
North Pole and that chubby jolly old Saint Nick
The little elves getting busy, in Santa workshop
And how gingerbread men keep they buttons on top
Wooden soldiers and chestnuts, roasting like marshmallows
Goodfellas, chocolate pudding pops and Jell-O’s
It’s the gift, the cookies and milk on the mantle
The mistletoe, that scent from that peppermint candles
That warm French vanilla, mean coat with zippers
Bear skin robe dragon with Versace slippers
Around the fireplace we breathe, shirts are short sleave
We stayin’ up all night on Christmas Eve

The Dirty South

Outkast’s Christmas remake of their classic, “Player’s Ball”, and Ying Yang Twins’ “Deck da Club’ provide us two different, albeit very true to the South, flavors. Outkast’s smoothed, out mellow anthem contrasts Ying Yang’s up-tempo, club-friendly crunk approach, but both are in the spirit of the Holidays. Note the Ying Yang lyric is sung to the melody of the original Deck The Halls.

Outkast — “Player’s Ball (Christmas Version)”

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

All the players came.. from far and wide
Wearing afros and braids, kickin’ them gangsta rides
Now I’m here to tell ya.. there’s a better day
When the player’s ball is happenin’, on Christmas Day

Ying Yang Twins — “Deck da Club”

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

Deck da club with piles of money
falalala lala la la
She’ll make you think that she’s your honey
falalala lala la la

Boston

Mr. Lif — “Santa’s Got a Muthafuckin’ Uzi”

Backed by a drum line loosely reminiscent of LL Cool J’s “It’s Jinglin’ Baby”, a fitting trait given it’s Jingle Bells season, and driven by Mr. Lif’s vivid storytelling, the Boston emcee flips the script on this track, as he approaches it from the standpoint of a shady Santa Clause robbing him at Christmas. What ensues is a both brilliant and hilarious tale of a standoff between Santa’s thugs and Lif’s boys, namely Perceptionists’ bandmates, Akrobatik and Fakst One.

Ho Ho Ho lyric:

I’ve never seen a house so fly and plush
Man Santa’s living large with all types of stuff
Big screen TV’s
DVD’s
Flicks of him down at Fenway with David Ortiz
Acting like he’s Boston
Fronting the role
I took a look over at Ak
“Yeah this bitch gotta go”
Santa busted through the door with Bush an Cheney
I ducked behind the couch because those hoes tried to spray me
We’re all up in this mission with our 9mm’s and shit
But who knew Santa was packing a banana clip?!

Both the Holidays and music are good for the soul, so when the two join forces it makes for great times and special moments. We hope you’ve enjoyed our Christmas Rap playlist as much as we’ve enjoyed putting it together for you and wish you all a Happy Holiday Season. Ho ho ho!

Run-DMC, in a sleigh with a Cadillac emblem.

 

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