Lavender (Manics who can’t sleep revisited) by Jason Wright


Back on the train
This is what I do

Feeling unglued
Got to put my self together
Again
Last night I wrote a poem
And read it to an audience
And I got compliments

Instead of the audience shaking their head
They vibed with what I read
I realized that I am not alone
Friends who came up to me
And said they approved of my mentality
That they got shivers and they could relate
I was overcome by nerves
Until the drinks hit
Then I only had to silence my head a little bit

I asked my new friends if they could see my hands shake
If they could hear it in my voice
I realized it last night
And I guess I had forgotten
That I am not alone
And their is a community in Boston
Who understands
And could follow my rhythm
And I let them in on my disappearing act

Bur there is one person I talked to
Actually there was really 2 or 3
But there was one person who resonated with me
They feared they were manic
And said they had trouble sleeping

That’s when I told her of a poem I wrote

For a friend
who couldn’t handle her racing thoughts, who couldn’t rest.
Who once told me that she was always awake and every day she walked through dreams

I told my new friend last night about this friend and
the poem
It was called
Manics Who Can’t Sleep
And now I am revisiting those 360 words

Over eight years ago
When I thought I could live forever
That every day I imagined like Jon Lennon
A place where the world was real
Where I could feel something
Better then this

But last night was different
I spoke about mental illness
And the people listened
But there was
One person
Who really listened
And I hope that she can feel some comfort in this

And I hope she can rest
And I hope she can find comfort
Knowing that
Mania
Is a gift
And she isn’t different
She is
Blessed.
And that
Lavender is a pretty color.

5 thoughts on “Lavender (Manics who can’t sleep revisited) by Jason Wright

  1. I’m not exactly sure why, but this one has brought tears to my eyes.
    Maybe because it resonates with me. Maybe because it’s gentle and caring. Maybe because you both found a person who could understand. Maybe some other things too.
    Last night after my first dose of an additional medication I slept an unbroken sleep of about nine hours which is more than I’ve slept in one go for ages. What relief.
    Insomnia really sucks.

    Like

  2. Pingback: They’re Not Up There… Just Another Manic Monday – allaboutlemon-All Around, In, And Out Of My Own Universe

  3. Pingback: Just Another Manic Monday – allaboutlemon-All Around, In, And Out Of My Own Universe

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