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Living in a Soulful Sea in memory of Susan Greenberg, by Jason Wright

My Aunt Sue died last night

Haven’t been feeling right since,

Cause if God controls everything

Then why does he let us call it quits,

Or let lungs and limbs stop defending off

poison in the body, drink too much coffee

Blood pressure goes up, too much caffeine and nicotine in the blood

And your up, and can’t sleep.

If God wanted us not to suffer then what does that make for me, Aunt Sue, Jeremy and Jimmy?

All part of my family, and cancer got them all.

But the soul leaves the body, and they all rejoice in harmony, in a soulful sea, totally free, from the pain and brutality of cancer and all other things theres no answer for.

 

But couldn’t something? Science? God? Work together to cure it all?

 

Like when a dude gets lit up for wearing the wrong color chucks, in his own neighborhood, what happens to his family…his friends? His pain is gone, but the pain lives on in the eyes of his kids, and on in their song.

 

My Aunt Sue, she decided she would die without suffering through chemo, but the body can only break and then finally it goes.

 

As sure as a New England winter, you know it will always snow, someone will fall to cancer, that’s what we wear the pink ribbons for.

 

I say the body is made of salt and water.

And an ocean is filled with salt and water.

If we live in a world where parts of the ocean are undiscovered….then couldn’t  the answer be somewhere in that water?

That soulful sea that lives in the world of green leaves?

Couldn’t’t the calming effect of a tide pool understand you better then you do?

 

I don’t know I think of things like this,

Like its easy to say FUCK CANCER, but the problem still exists, and even when I’m done with this little trip to Davis and back. They’ll still be heart attacks, some from fat, and some from smack, and though cancer kills more smokers then I can even comprehend….When I’m done reading this poem, I’m gonna still smoke a cigarette.

 

So why do we do this?

Our lives we live are not soulful seas. Not the ocean breeze, nah, were swimming in a cesspool, and its in our food and in our air we breathe.

 

So that’s the fact, we get like 50 good years of living, tops.

 

Then the body breaks down and all that fun you had.

Every cheeseburger, every cigarette

Every drink you had, it all comes back

Whats up with that?

 

Living healthy sucks.  Smoking and drinking and coughing up from the lungs sucks, and I’m broke,

but still shell out 8 bucks for a pack,

Whats up with that?

 

Then we drink too much, and regurgitate what we drunk, and we call this fun? Kids looking forward to 21?

I know I am very unhealthy, and even more int the mind, but well that’s fine, and I’m sure It’s time to change around my life, wish I could believe these words I write.

 

I guess since theres no answer to this question

I hoped I’d sent a message but if I don’t…

I guess its easy to revolt

Rise up with all of us who lost someone to this,

 

Scream it loud

FUCK CANCER,

 

Lets do something about it….and hope the message sticks

 

 

 

Rest In Peace Susie Greenberg.

 

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Lets Build This Thing Together by Jason Wright

This begins now.

I feel good again, its been a long time. Poets, artists lets reconvene, and put life back in to ODDBALL MAGAZINE.

I’ve been depressed I’ll admit it, kind of hard when you have mental illness. But I’m back and I hope you are too. So lets build this thing together.

Im on a new medicine. It’s called wishful thinking.

(also new thyroid medicine,  no more late for work, no more severe depression)

this is a poem, from my new book I am writing titled “School of Thought”

 

 

 

I think that I might lose my job tomorrow

But I feel like that every Friday

I feel good.

The new prescription works

Woke up and set a personal best

Less then 6 hours rested

And still got up, and did my best.

 

Early to work, early to rise,

Keeps food on the table

And love in your life.

Might turn on the computer

And navigate to the old website

Time to breathe new life

Into dead megabytes.

 

Im going to kick the magazine back into high gear

Yell from the hallowed halls

of the database

“IS ANYONE STILL HERE?”

And if you are, I thank you

 

A new book.

A new medicine.

A new me.

 

And this feeling isn’t going away any time soon

I’m like a new chapter

A fresh fish

A sweet apple

A megapixel

Dilated and rattled

But still face any battle

Been battered

But never shattered

 

Back in time

Rewind my history

Rewrite my future

Feel the conclusion is far from over

 

The clouds have gotten lower

But its still sunshine in my summer

 

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